how to be a good guest at a wedding …

We always talk about wedding planning, but what about being a good wedding guest? This is what you should do:

prior to wedding

You RSVP in a timely manner.
You let the hosts know if you have to cancel at the last minute; don’t just not show up!
You do not ask the couple if you can bring an extra guest (that was not on the invitation).
You do not bother the couple with registration info – ask someone else close to them.
You may send your wedding gift early to their address so it’s one less thing for you to carry.
You do not initiate or ask for special food, sitting or other special accommodating factors, unless asked by the couple.
You do not wear white or ivory dress.
You do not, I repeat, DO NOT attend the wedding if you don’t believe in this marriage. The only reason you will attend is so you can show your displeased face to everyone. Trust me, no one wants you there being miserable – take a stand and politely decline the invitation.


You arrive on time to the ceremony, (bonus points if you are early).
You leave your small children at home with a babysitter.
If you are an out-of-towner and have to bring the child, you arrange to have someone or yourself hold the baby OUTSIDE the church so they don’t hear her/him crying.
You do not get in the way of the photographer taking pictures.


You do not use the wedding reception as a “hookup” place for meeting single guys/girls.
You do not get sloppy, messy drunk. Which usually follows with making loud, embarrassing remarks.
You do not grab the microphone to make impromptu speeches without permission.
You do get the party started by dancing and asking others to dance.
You ask the bride/groom if there is anything they need. Or if you see they need something – just do it!
You do not monopolize their time, knowing full well that they have many guests to see.
You do not make derogatory comments about the reception decorations, flowers, wedding dress, mother-in-law, food, etc – because someone will hear it and it always gets back to the couple.
You will plan accordingly and allot enough time to stay for at least 4 hours at the reception if possible.Or at least until the cake has been cut.
If mother nature doesn’t cooperate with the outdoor reception, you will still be the best guest ever by pitching in and having a good time. Your friends/family just got married after all!!!!

featured photo credit: pfe iPhone

plan on!


out of town guests …

…remember to include your out-of-town guests at the rehearsal dinner if you can afford the extra head count. Also – another nice touch (and becoming a custom, rather than an option) is to have welcome bags waiting for them at the hotel.

Remember to include amenities such as; bottled water, munchies, breath mints, and such. Of course, you can also offer up specialties that represent your area or theme of wedding. Don’t forget a wedding day itinerary and maps to the locations and of course….a thank you from the both of you.

feature photo credit: pfe iPhone

plan on!



asking for money for your wedding

This is a huge question! More couples would prefer having money as a gift than actual stuff as they go into marriage with already furnished households. So here’s the straight answer.

You can’t ask for money. Never. Ever. Period.

However…..a way around that dilemma is a new trend of “honeymoon registries”. It works by allowing you to select a certain element of your honeymoon, whether it is spa treatments, tours, meals, hotel nights and so on. Then friends and family will “buy” for you in increments as their wedding gifts.

It is a tad impersonal (Emily Post wouldn’t give it a seal of approval), but highly practical in this modern age. So, if you do go this route, please be very specific in your thank you card to your guest so they will know which amenity their gift of money was used on. For instance……”Thank you Uncle Joe for the generous gift you sent us. We were able to get an hour long helicopter ride that overlooked the beautiful island of Hawaii. This is something we will never forget and we’ve enclosed a snapshot of what we saw so you could share it with us…..”. You get the idea.

featured photo credit: jordan barclay photography

plan on!


a and b wedding Invitation lists

Clients ask me what I think about creating an A & B Invitation list. This is typically when you send out invitations to your wedding to everyone on your A list. You wait until you get the RSVP’s back and then based on that number – you send out invitations to the B list.

Your guests can figure it out

Now I may not be a rocket scientist, but I’m smart enough to figure out that if I get a wedding invitation two weeks before the wedding I’m either a B guest or this is a bride who is WAY behind her time line. Do you really want your guests to feel like second thoughts? Their wedding gifts to you may also reflect that same line of thinking!

However, if you are dead set on this method…then you need to have your ducks in a row. Send the A list out at LEAST 10 weeks before the wedding and have a very EARLY RSVP date (4 weeks before the big day). Then you can send your B list out immediately, which would be considered a standard time range to receive an invitation. But you better be on it and not procrastinate.

Personally, I think you’re better off just inviting people you really want to share your day with. Let the others just congratulate you or take you out for a beer later.

featured photo credit: pfe iPhone

plan on!