Elopement is a personal choice. I understand why some would want to do it. In fact, the truth be told, my husband and I were planning a sort of elopement before we got married. It was a situation that my parents were not exactly thrilled (although they have since recounted that decision) about me marrying my husband. There was not the support that we wanted, and I would not be deterred. I married at 25 years old, definitely old enough to make my own decisions.
we were going to elope
We had planned on marrying at a resort in California with only our maid of honor and best man. Everything was set.
Then my mom went back into the hospital. It all changed. I realized that family there to support us was paramount to leaving and getting married and bringing back photos.
So, in four short months, I totally changed our plans (thank goodness I was a corporate event planner at the time, NOT a wedding planner, but I had the skills).
In the end, it was the best decision and my family was totally on board with being present and enjoying seeing us taking our vows. Because we paid for our own wedding, it was small (which is what I wanted) and exactly what we had wanted (that’s what you get when you pay for your own wedding).
The reason this all came to mind, I was watching the Real Housewives of Orange County this week (don’t judge me). Vicki’s daughter went to Las Vegas and on a whim, got married to her boyfriend. Someone who Vicki barely had met in the past and didn’t know.
Immediately, I went to my son (who is about to turn 16 years old and was a little confused at the conversation), and informed him how incredibly disappointed I would be if he eloped. He promised he wouldn’t.
Not because I want to throw a lavish wedding, like many of our clients plan. But because I would be hurt to the core not to be present at his nuptials. He is my only child. I have to be there. Whether I like the person he has chosen, or not. If he is old enough to make the decision, I want to be there for that important event of his life. Weddings ARE about family. Sometimes it’s good, sometimes … it’s not that good.
learn from me
This is not to put down others who elope. But please, take into consideration everything. Changing our wedding plans was the best decision we ever made. My father walked me down the aisle, both my brothers were present, my husband’s sister was there and our true, personal friends. It made all the difference in the world … as we move to celebrate our 19 years of marriage this July 4th. I’m grateful that I had the perspective, in time, to make the right decision.
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